I have to say that as I write this entry I am doing so with, what seems like, the weight of the world off my shoulders. Why did I feel such a great weight? Well Rylee and I have been having some nursing issues and lately it was getting to the point where I was ready to just toss in the towel and be done with it totally. We can afford formula, right?

But would I still be a good mother if I threw in the towel? How many mothers have wrestled with this same situation over the years?

Today I spoke with a lactation consultant at the hospital and after speaking to her I realized just what changes I was going to make. I was going to do what a friend of mine had done. I want to thank Melissa for telling me, months ago, that she has used this system for both of her lovely children.

I have made the decision to no longer nurse Rylee. Instead I am going to pump and she will have breastmilk from a bottle. It’s the best situation for both of us. I will no longer be in pain from feeding her and she will still get breastmilk which is the main goal.

We have had two feedings so far that have gone really well for both Rylee and I. I think that this was the best decision for both of us. I’m sure as time goes on I’ll feel even less guilt about not nursing any longer.

It’s a whole new world.

This is definitely one of those times where I get say, “This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!”

Rylee must be going through a bit of a growth spurt because her feeding habits the last few days have been less than desirable for mommy. She’s been nursing every 1 1/2 – 2 hours when she normally nurses about every 3 hours. Bill has a cousin whose baby is a month older than Rylee who recently went through the same thing. Susanna lived to tell the tale so I’m sure I will as well. But when you’re living it you aren’t always so sure.

The daytime feedings aren’t so bad, its the nighttime ones that really get to you. By the time you finish nursing you have about 30-45 minutes to sleep until you’re back up for the next feeding. Last night I found that I was falling asleep while nursing Rylee. Thank goodness for the Boppy!

As today has progressed Rylee is going longer between feedings so I’m hopeful that she’s almost done with the current growth spurt. I think my boobs are even happier than I am!